Happy New Years, all!  Wow, 2010.

2009 was a really great year for me, and I’m looking forward to seeing what 2010 has to offer.  I have to admit, I’ve never really been big into the “resolution” thing.  I always encourage myself and others to take action when they want to change something in their life, and to consider every day a new day and a new chance to live your life exactly the way that you want to.  I know, easier said than done, right?  I have a hard time with the concept that this is the one day of year where we resolve to do something better than we were doing it before.

That being said, I do appreciate the fact that starting a new year does give a consistent milestone for us to stop, take a breath, and look back on the last year.  Examine where we are, how we got here, and where we want to be.  And then determine what we need to do to help get us there.  I think giving us that little boost, that reminder, to change our lives for the better is a good thing.  I just don’t think we should limit it to New Years and our New Years Resolution!

So…. taking stock.  This year I:

• Started my comeback.  After my surgery in the second half of 2008, I took the rest of 2008 basically to recover and slowly get back on my feet.  2009 was my year to start rebuilding.  Making my mind and my body stronger.  Sure, the physical aspect is a given – I had to learn to exercise again and build up strength and stamina.  But what I didn’t anticipate was the mental aspect.  It was tough on me, mentally, to sit in the hospital for over a month.  It was tough on me to be in so much pain for a long time.  It was tough on me to be off work for a long time.  It was tough on me to have to start over.  It was very frustrating and demoralizing.  But I persisted, and I’m proud of that.  Everybody loves a comeback!
• Ran another marathon.  This goes along with the first bullet point, but means so much to me that I wanted to give it a bullet point of it’s own
• Met S.  On April 17, 2009, I met the love of my life.  We’ve had ups and downs, but he is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  He moved in with me in September, and we have been building our home ever since.  I can’t wait to see what is in store for us down the road.
• Traveled internationally twice – to Israel in January 2009, and to Switzerland in October 2009.  Both trips were incredible, life-changing, and eye-opening.
• Added to the family – We got Mendy!  Although S and I joke about and feel like we are living in a zoo, she’s a lot of fun.  She and JB have a great time chasing each other around and playing, and we are so happy we adopted her.

So, although much, much more has happened, those are some of the major highlights.  Tomorrow there will be more about 2010 expectations, hopes, dreams, changes, goals, you name it!

But for today, we woke up and made a trip to the gym.  And… you’ll never believe this… I did weights!  Yes, I crossed over and joined S  in the dark side of the gym.  In the car on the way there, I had a Clif bar.

When we got there, I sat down on the weight bench to accept my fate.  Here was the workout S gave me and I did:

The shoulder supersets consisted of butterflies, lateral raises with bent arms, upright rows, and overhead dumbbell press.  Killer.  I have to admit that although I really dislike lifting weights, it makes me feel very strong and very good afterwards!  A hint for tomorrow… one of my 2010 changes is definitely going to be to incorporate weights consistently into my workout routine.  S is going to help.

After a quick shower, we decided there was no better way to celebrate a beautiful, warm California vacation day than a trip to the zoo!  S and I headed to the San Francisco Zoo.  On the way there in the car, I ate a Guiltless Gourmet Mediterranean Spinach Wrap.

This was the first time I had eaten one of these, and I was pleasantly surprised.  The tortilla was soft and chewy, which I really liked, and the filling was delicious.

I wish it had a little more feta cheese in it, but that’s about it.  The nutritional stats were pretty good as well, I was pleased to see that it had 9 grams of protein which is more than the typical wrap.  I also ate an apple and a handful of Ritz crackers.

The zoo was awesome.  I loved the lions and tigers, but couldn’t get good pictures because they are behind a wall.  Probably because of the tiger attack a year or so back.  I did snap a few of some other faves:

This guy was just wandering around the zoo, right next to us!

I was very disappointed because they didn’t have any elephants   Elephants are my favorite animal, and I was so excited to see them!  Total bummer.  But we still had a great time.

I ate a protein bar on the way home,

But was still starving by the time we got there.  I decided it was time to roast some brussel sprouts!  I washed and quartered, then tossed with olive oil.

Seasoned and spread them into a pan,

And roasted for 30 minutes at 400 degrees.  Then put in a dish with turkey sausage and parmesan cheese, and voila!

Quick, easy, delicious and healthy dinner.  Dessert was some sugar cookie ice cream.

And now we have settled down for the night with our glasses of champagne (in wine glasses, due to our lack of champagne flutes…) next to the fireplace and lit Christmas tree.

While you are waiting for the ball to drop, check out Chocolate Covered Katie’s Wild Bar giveaway!

Goodnight all, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!  Let’s make 2010 a great one

I am feeling a lot better today, about myself and about life.  Thank you all for your supportive thoughts, prayers and comments.  That’s one thing that I really like about the “blogosphere”.  I know that it’s really important to have a support group of friends and family around you for all sorts of things – motivation, encouragement and to help lift you up when you are feeling down.  I have S, who is my major support.  And I have friends who are very supportive too.  But with my best friends and my family on the other side of the country, sometimes I feel very alone.  Especially when it comes to eating and food issues – those are very isolating thoughts and feelings which, understandably, it is very hard for other people who have never experienced such issues to understand.  So to be able to come here and talk it out, and then to get support and comments, it really helps and it really means a lot.

I did a lot of thinking last night.  I went to bed exhausted and very upset.  But I woke up this morning with the feeling that this is a brand new day.  Not only that – it is about to be a brand new year and I have so, so much to be thankful for in my life.  Yes, I still have some food and eating issues.  But, compared to where I was one year ago, two years ago, four years ago… you get the point…. I am doing so well.  I am so proud of myself and how far I have come, and I have to keep that in mind and be thankful for it every day.  Yes, I have some mental things I have to work through sometimes.  But don’t we all?  This is my issue in life, but other people have other things.  That’s life.  You take the bad with the good.  And I truly believe that it is going through the bad that makes us able to recognize and appreciate the good.

That being said, I have made a few decisions.  I have talked them over with S and he is in full agreement and support which really helps.

1. I will stop using Fitday.  Period.  I tried to stop using it before, and only succeeded for a day or two before I let myself go back.  It becomes too compulsive with me, and I find myself making food and eating choices based on my calorie counts and what I feel I should be eating rather than listening to my body.  So I’m done with it.  I am going to eat when I am hungry, stop when I am full.  I usually make healthy food choices, so I am not worried about what I eat – rather how much.  But the truth is that my body should be telling me how much to eat – NOT an online calorie counter.
2. S and I will eat main meals together at the kitchen table.  As crazy as it sounds, we have never eaten a meal together at the kitchen table unless we had company over.  We eat on the couch, either in front of the TV or our computers.  And that is horrible.  We both agreed we need to break that habit – for our own health, for our relationship’s health, and also for any future family that we will have.
3. I will continue to write in my own blog, and read/comment others blogs.  As I said before, I love being a part of the blogging community.  I love food, I love health, I love reading about people’s lives and their families, friends, travels and experiences, and looking at all their pictures.  It just makes me happy.  And that is not because it fuels any eating issues – it is because I simply find it fascinating and fun.  And that is ok.
4. I will not photograph every single thing I eat.  I won’t feel “obligated” to photograph something or eat something in particular so that I can post a picture.  I’m sure some people do that, but I feel like that would fuel eating issues or preoccupations.  Besides – I do tend to eat a lot of the same things sometimes, and I’m sure that gets boring to look at.  So I will photograph some things – the things I find interesting, or out of my ordinary routines.  I will still make new recipes and post and photograph them, and maybe there will be days when I photograph everything – even the mundane.  And maybe there will be days when I photograph nothing.  But I will do so because I want to do it and I want to share it – not because I’m preoccupied with it or feel like I need to prove or justify anything.
5. I will write more about my feelings.  I found writing last night’s post very cathartic, and I realized I haven’t done that sort of “get it all out there” post in a while.  That’s the whole reason I started this blog.
6. I will ask S for support when I need it, and voice a problem when I have it.  He does want to help, but he doesn’t know how.  And the truth is that a lot of times, I don’t know how he can either.  But knowing he is there for me and he loves me, and we will make it through this, makes all the difference in the world.

And today, he did try very hard.  I told myself I would not ask him, the entire day, if he wanted anything to eat.  I would just leave him alone and do my own thing – if he wanted food, he would ask for it.  And he did.  I woke up early and worked.  He came downstairs at about noon again (must be nice!!!) and I was making lunch for myself.  He said “I’m going to make myself a pizza!” and bless his heart, he did.  And he sat down with me at the kitchen table and we ate lunch together.

I had a monster salad, the usual, with a Veggie Patch veggie burger.

I also had a handful of a new trail mix I got.  It has mixed nuts, yogurt chips, dates and raisins.  It is very good, although I wish it had less peanuts and more cashews and almonds.

After lunch, we decided to make a trip to Ikea.  We recently bought a wall mount and mounted our flat-screen TV on the wall in the living room.  So now we wanted to get a little shelf to hold the DVD player, Wii, PS3, cable box, etc. underneath… because it was all sitting on the floor.  That, with all the wires hanging down, made our living room look like a freshman guy’s dorm room.  Yeah.

We totally got dressed up to go to Ikea.  I wore a skirt with boots and a nice sweater, and S broke out the collared shirt with vest and his MJ/Frank Sinatra hat.  I didn’t get any pics of myself, but I did manage to snap one of him while he was getting our box at Ikea!

That hat totally cracks me up.  And he thinks he is hot stuff in it, let me tell you!  Psst… don’t tell him… I think he is too

After our shopping, we were both hungry and went to the Ikea restaurant to get food.  I didn’t know what I felt like, but totally made up my mind when I saw a PB&J sandwich!  I know.. weird.  But I was totally craving it.  And a totally kid one – no crust, white bread.

I was a little skeptical at first, because I like me a lot of peanut butter on my sammy.  But I went for it anyways.  It was only 99 cents!!!  And I wasn’t disappointed.

It totally hit the spot.

After shopping, we headed to Starbucks to relax for a little while and get a coffee.  They were giving out cute little donuts for free, so I had to sample one.  I got vanilla, S got chocolate.

It was delicious, and perfect portion control because it was just a mini donut.  I loved the frosting on top!  S thought his was just ok.  I took a bite and it tasted great to me… oh well.

When we got home, it was already dark and I was feeling lazy so I decided instead of going to the gym I would play with the Wii.  I did Jillian Michael’s Fitness Ultimatum for a half hour while S put together our new piece of furniture.  Sorry, no pics.  This is intentional – I started right when I got home from our outing so did it wearing only the leggings I had on underneath my skirt and my collared shirt I had on underneath.  Thought I would save you that scary image!  But it was really fun.  And by the time I was done, we had this:

No more mess!  And yes, that is Modern Warfare 2 you see in the background.  Now S is playing it again, on the hardest level.  Sigh.

We had a nice, sit down dinner together at the kitchen table too.  I had a bowl of italian wedding soup (from the can…)

two clementines,

And some Sugar Cookie ice cream for dessert.

And that’s all she wrote, folks!

Today was a hard day.  Once again, I find myself back at work while S is still on vacation.  It makes it hard, especially since I work at home.  I have to wake up early, while his lazy bum stays in bed until noon.  Then I have to try to get the rest of my work done while he is asking for breakfast or trying to get some attention.  And then, after he gives up trying to get my attention, I have to work through warfare as he blasts the enemy on the PS3.  It’s not easy to do project financial work while hearing gunshots and instinctively ducking your head, let me tell you.

Oh, and about the PS3 and game that I bought for him for Christmas.  He has literally played nonstop, except for the time that we were in San Luis Obispo.  Just in case you were wondering if I was exaggerating his game playing time?  I bought him Call of Duty:  Modern Warfare 2.  It has been four days since I bought it for him, and he beat the game today.  The entire game. So, as you can see, no exaggeration is necessary.

We also had a discussion which did not make me feel better.  I know that I have written several times about how my eating and food issues have caused problems in my past relationships, and how it has also been somewhat of an issue in this one.  Unfortunately, I do feel like that has gotten somewhat worse rather than better.  I take most of the responsibility, because I know the problem is my own.  However, S does very little to help or make anything easier for me.  Quite frankly, he doesn’t seem to care.

I know that’s not really true, I know that he cares about me.  But he just doesn’t get it.  And thus his actions show that… and come across like he doesn’t care.  For example, the past few days he has woken up at noon, while I am having lunch.  I ask him what he wants for breakfast, he has a piece of toast.  A piece of bread.  Ok, fine, it’s first thing in the morning, I get it.  A few hours later, I ask him if he wants something else, lunch or something.  “No, I’m not hungry.”  Ok then.  I have a snack.  A few hours later, it’s dinner time.  He eats a few Totino’s pizza rolls and some penne pasta.  Anything else?  Nope.  I eat dinner.  I eat dessert.  Would you like dessert, S?  “No thanks.”  Ok then.  Rachel goes to bed around 11.  S eats nothing else, and goes to bed at 1:30am.  Only to wake up at noon the next day (today) and do exactly the same thing.

This bugs the SHIT out of me.  Why do I care?  That’s the problem.  The reason I care most likely has more to do with myself then it has to do with him.  I am eating by myself, all the time.  I feel like a pig.  Which, of course, makes me want to eat more.  By myself.  Rachel the pig.

When I first met S, he was such a skinny little thing.  The first time I put my arms around him, I was shocked.  I could probably wrap my arms around his waist twice, it was so small.  And that bothers me SO much.  A big part of it is just physical attraction – I have always, even before any of my size or weight preoccupations began, been attracted to big, masculine men.  And quite frankly… S is small and European.  Basically the opposite.  I love him for who he is, and I think he is a good-looking guy, but I definitely have a hard time with some qualities.  The food and weight issues just compound these problems.  I am so uncomfortable being the “bigger” one in a relationship.  I am so insecure eating more and feeling fat and piggish.

So my own issues and way of eating, combined with S’s way of eating (or lack thereof) is causing problems.  If I say something about it, if I ask him if I can make him dinner or tell him he should eat more healthily and eat healthy, square meals a day, he gets mad and we fight.  He says that he eats when he’s hungry, and that’s the right thing to do and he’s not going to change.  But… I don’t think the way that he eats is healthy.  Sometimes he eats when he’s hungry.  Sometimes he’s doesn’t – simply because he’s too lazy or too involved in work or a video game.  And when he does eat, half the time it’s healthy (if I cook it for him).  The other half, it’s shit.  Fast food, fried food…  crap.  So, although I definitely have issues with my mental relationship with food and eating, I think that my overall eating habits are much healthier than his are.

He’s a big boy, I should just let him be, right?  But if I don’t say anything, I get upset.  I get worked up inside until I feel like I am going to explode and then I end up being not very nice to him anyways.  And at the same time, I eat alone, feel like a pig, and hate myself too.  It’s a lose/lose situation, and I don’t know how to fix it.

S thinks that the only way to fix this is to remove the preoccupation and obsession with food and health.  In a way, I think that he’s right.  He thinks that if I stop with fitday, stop posting what I eat on the blog… just stop thinking about it so much that the issue will eventually go away on it’s own and I can find other things in my life and not care (just like him.)  But first of all, I enjoy food.  And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.  I think that the majority of people on this earth enjoy food.  I look at other people who write food and healthy living blogs and take pictures and write about what they eat, and I don’t think that they have eating disorders or unhealthy relationships with food.  Can I do that?  Am I able to separate the two and just enjoy without obsessing and letting it consume my life and my relationship?  Or is S right, and I need to lay low from all this for a while to solve the problem?

I just don’t know.

Know where that quote is from?

After our disappointing six-game losing streak, the Steelers (barely) won last week against the Green Bay Packers – keeping their playoff hopes alive and barely breathing.  And this week we won again!  So… we have to win next week against Miami, and then some other chips have to fall into place, in order to get to the playoffs.  But there’s a chance.

So today was a good day.  It started off well – sleeping in until exactly 10:15 when I woke up for the Steeler’s game and enjoyed my coffee.x

I didn’t get around to eating anything until lunch time, when I prepared a Hugh Jass with crab, mozzarella cheese, broccoli, edamame and egg whites.

Twas a sight to behold.

In the spirit of the day, after the game S and I did some shopping and then went out and threw the football around at the park.  I’m no Ben Roethlisberger, but I can sometimes throw a mean spiral

We stopped off at Panera Bread, where I had a fruit cup and a bag of chips.

In the afternoon, I snacked on a Clif bar.

For dinner, I made Crockpot Santa Fe Chicken from a recipe that I saw on Iowa Girl Eats’ blog.  I have a crockpot that I barely ever use, so was really excited to try a recipe in it.  I threw all the ingredients into the pot in the morning while watching the game, and by dinner time it was ready!

It was delicious.  I think that next time I make it I will add a little less chicken broth, because it was a little too liquid-y.  But the flavor was delicious, and it was really nutritious too.

I served it to S and myself with tortillas and cheddar cheese.

All wrapped up:

I ate it with some dried fruit on the side – dates and figs.

For dessert, a big chunk of rocky road fudge.

I had the last of my pumpkin cheesecakes for a snack before bed.

Even Mendy couldn’t help but smile at the end of this great day.

Actually, S took the picture while she was yawning.  But she looks like she is totally cracking up, as JB looks on in the background.  Love it!

Since my Dad is British, we usually recognized Boxing Day each year.  So, Happy Boxing Day!

It was a happy one for me, although I didn’t do anything traditional.  I didn’t sleep all that well in the hotel, although I’m not exactly sure why.  I haven’t been sleeping well the past few days.  And last night I had a nightmare.  I haven’t had one of those in a really long time.  It was really nice, though, to wake up in a bed where I didn’t have to worry about making or washing the sheets.

Much to S’s dismay, we actually got up at around 8.  We wanted to get to the Continental breakfast before it closed for the morning.  S insists that they purposely make the hours for the Continental breakfast really early (especially for a weekend the day after a holiday) so that nobody actually comes?  I don’t know… sounds like a conspiracy theory to me.

For breakfast, I had two packets of oatmeal,

and a mini chocolate muffin.

After breakfast, we checked out of the hotel and went to downtown SLO.  It was a really cute little place with an interesting combination of small, mom-and-pop shops, and some large chain stores (Gap, etc.)  There were a lot of store fronts that were empty where stores had gone out of business and closed, which was a sad reminder of the difficulties a lot of people are having right now.

There were beautiful trees and a little stream running adjacent to the city mission.

The city was a nice combination of nature and city-life.  It was beautiful.

We were totally in vacation mode.  We stopped to relax on a bench and just take in the sights.

The mission was beautiful, too.

With a cute fountain out front.

After walking around for a little bit, we went to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory!

I got some fudge, and S got chocolate covered marshmallows on a stick.

One thing that I really want to do with S is make s’mores.  He has never had one!  He didn’t even know what a s’more was until I recently told him.

After we were done exploring downtown, we started our drive back up north.  We stopped many places along the way – first was Morro Bay.

The beach was beautiful – we threw around a football for a little while on the sand.

However, it started to rain, so we took a quick picture, hopped back in the car and kept driving.

While we drove, I snacked on some dried apricots.

We finally stopped for lunch at McDonalds.

I left my camera in the car so didn’t take a picture of my chicken caesar salad and fruit and yogurt parfait.

We were exhausted by the time we got home.  It had just been a one-night, two-day trip, but we were both happy to get back.  JB and Mendy were happy too Even though it was such a short trip, it was wonderful and I think it was exactly what we needed.

I made a quick snack of cottage cheese cheesecake pudding, raspberries and angel food cake.

And finished it off with the last of my eggnog ice cream.

It is good, but definitely nowhere near the Sugar Cookie ice cream good!

Now I’m off to bed.  Hopefully no more nightmares tonight…

and a Playstation 3!

In our household, it was a video gaming kind of Christmas.  It actually started on Christmas eve, when I bought a PS3 for S.  He has been wanting one for a while and was totally psyched.  I also got him the game he wanted – Modern Warfare 2.  I pretty much watched him play three hours straight that night.  I’m not sure if this will be a blessing for our relationship, or a curse…

For my Christmas present?

A Wii balance board!  What for?  For the other half of my present:

I was totally psyched for this game.  I love Jillian Michaels, and recently bought the 30-day Shred dvd which I haven’t opened yet.  I think that is going to be a part of my New Years resolution

So S and I tried it out.  It is fun… jumping logs, driving a hand car, dodging punching bags, etc.  It got me warm, no doubt.  But I only did it for 10 minutes or so.  No biggie?  So I thought.  But when I woke up on Friday morning, I was sore!  I could totally feel it in my hamstrings and inner thighs.  I couldn’t believe it!  Here I was, thinking my legs were Gladiator-strong from all of my running and stepmill.  But 10 minutes of Wii left me sore for 2 days.  You’d better believe I will be doing this workout more often!

So we are now an official video game household.  It’s funny, because growing up we were never allowed to have video games so I never really played them or saw the big deal.  I didn’t understand why all my friends wanted to play them all the time.  Occasionally I would like to play Donkey Kong or Super Mario Brothers when I went over to a friend’s house, but that was rare and I usually got antsy pretty quickly and wanted to go play outside or do something else.  Oh, look at me now!

Christmas morning, as I mentioned in my last post, S and I woke up ready to take a short road trip.  We just planned to go for one night, which might not sound like much, but we have never just gone somewhere within driving distance, gotten a hotel room for the night, and just completely relaxed.

I must say, it came at a much needed time.  We have been fighting a lot lately – work, cats, home, holidays and family stress have combined and we have let it take a toll on our relationship.  We have been living together for four months now, and it hasn’t been easy.  In addition, I am really feeling pressure from both of our families (direct and indirect) for us to get engaged.  My younger sister just got married in October, and my second youngest sister announced recently that she and her boyfriend were ring shopping and planned to get engaged soon too.  So I am the oldest in the family… and will likely be the last one to get married.  In addition, Stephen’s uncle (who is a little older than us) announced this weekend that he and his girlfriend will marry in 2010 as well.  S’s parents and my parents said almost the exact same thing when we called each of them this weekend.

Oh… we thought you were going to tell us you were engaged.

And then….

So… when do you think that will happen?

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyhow, the trip was a much needed quick escape for both of us.  I quickly toasted a cinnamon raisin bagel as we headed out the door.

We started driving south to our destination, San Luis Obispo.  I have heard it was a beautiful place, plus it was just about the right distance away (3 hrs or so) to be an enjoyable drive and not too far.

On the way down, we drove leisurely and looked at some beautiful overlooks and sights.

It was sunny and gorgeous outside.  We made a pit stop for lunch, where I had a chicken caesar salad:

Throughout the afternoon, as we drove and stopped, looked and talked, I snacked on some randoms.

We got there just for the last hour of daylight.  We checked into the hotel and looked around – it was really nice.

There was an outdoor pool that people were swimming in, even though it was really cold outside!  They were actually jumping back and forth between the pool and the hot tub, but I still think they were crazy.

It was so nice to just relax.

As the sun was setting, we went on a walk to explore the area.  The hotel was right next to Laguna Lake Park, so that was where we headed.  We walked and watched the sun set over the lake.

It was wonderful.  We walked back to the hotel, but couldn’t find a single place that was open to eat dinner.  Even the grocery stores were closed so we couldn’t pick something up.  Yeah… guess we should have thought ahead a little more since we were traveling on a holiday.  But we decided that not planning and just deciding what we felt like doing at the spur of the moment would be more fun and relaxing and a real getaway.

We finally managed to find the only restaurant open.

It was……

DENNY’S!

I’m no high maintenance girl, so I was fine with it.  I know that a lot of people are probably going to be ashamed of me but I’m ok with it.  Being raised Jewish, we never really did a big Christmas dinner or get-togethers anyways (unless I went over to a friend’s house.)  So I was happy as a clam to have this.

Sorry, no pictures.  We ate breakfast in bed, in the hotel room.  It was the perfect Christmas in California dinner!

To cap off the night, we went to go see The Blind Side.  I have been wanting to see that movie ever since it came out.  I have loved every football movie I have ever seen, and this was no exception!  It was so good.

Ok, now it is time to enjoy the rest of my night.  I am so happy.  Merry Christmas to all!

S is officially done with work for the holidays.  His company has a shutdown week between Christmas and New Years, so he doesn’t have to go back to the office until January 4th!  Rachel = jealous girlfriend.

So today, while I worked (only a half day… I took an afternoon vacation day) I had three sets of eyes on me.  S eyes, JB eyes, and Mendy eyes.

They watched me while I ate my breakfast.

Two clementines, and a bagel with cream cheese.

They watched me work all morning, and tried to distract me.  And it worked, so I stopped for a little while to watch the Survivor Reunion show with them on my laptop.  I snacked one some cucumber, too.

I love that show.  Does anybody else like it?  This season was really interesting.  I can’t decide whether I love or hate Russell.  I do know that I didn’t want Natalie to win.  I’m not saying she didnt’ deserve to win, because obviously she managed to get through the game to the end and then win all the votes.  But she wasn’t the one I would have chosen.

I wonder a lot what goes on behind the scenes, though, that also impacts those votes at tribal council.  Particularly the last vote, deciding the winner.  After all, they have hundreds of hours on that island, and they compress it into a relatively few number of short episodes.  So they cut much more than they show.  That makes me wonder how much of it is spun to sound like they want it to sound, or to hid who is going to be voted off, or who is going to be the winner.  Very interesting.  I would loooove to go on Survivor!

Somehow I was able to make myself get back to work.  I was actually getting a lot done this week because so many other people were out… there were no meetings or phone calls so I could catch up on a lot of stuff I had fallen behind on.

Lunch was a pizza that I split with S.  I also had a tea in my Steeler’s mug!  Psyching myself up for this weekend’s game, after last weekend’s WIN!

Mid-afternoon, I snacked on some pumpkin cheesecakes.

I also had some of another seasonal favorite that I just found at Safeway:

I have a ritual, I have to pick out and eat all the broken and deformed ones first   I do that with a lot of things.  Candies, bars, etc.  I always eat the broken or messed up ones first!

I may or may not have broken a few on purpose so that I had to eat them.

I was disappointed in the afternoon because even though he lazed around the whole day while I worked, S didn’t have the energy to go to the gym with me.  Translation:  He didn’t want to get off his ass.

So I went by myself and did 30 minutes on the stepper.

For dinner, I put my new blender to use again and made… pumpkin soup!  I took a shortcut and used canned pumpkin.  I didn’t really have a recipe… basically, I had almond milk to use up before it went bad.  So I blended about 2/3 a can of pumpkin, 1/2 can chicken broth, and 1/2 cup of almond milk in the blender.  I also added in a tiny bit of butter, some cinnamon, salt, pepper, and paprika.  I blended it all together, heated it on the stove, and voila!

Pumpkin soup.  I was pretty proud of myself, too – it was delicious!

Dessert was just as good, Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked fro yo.

Not a bad way to end a night.

On the exciting news front… S and I are planning to take a short trip (just one or two nights) this weekend for Christmas.  We have always talked about taking a short road trip together, but have never actually done it!  Exact place and details are still to be determined, but I can’t wait!!!

I need one of those bumper stickers, “I brake for cheesecake”.  But since I work from home and don’t do much driving these days, I decided that I would break for cheesecake.  Especially if it’s pumpkin cheesecake, which is what I baked some of today!  I decided to go for the individual serving size approach, hoping that would help with my portion control problems.  So I made some cupcakes,

And broke out my good old heart tin!

The recipe is simple and relatively healthy.

Cottage Cheese Pumpkin Cheesecake

2 cups cottage cheese
1/2 can pumpkin
1 whole egg
1 egg white
1/4 cup cream cheese
1 scoop protein powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1/4 cup cane sugar
2 tbsp maple syrup

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.  Blend all the ingredients together in the blender until smooth.  Pour into a baking dish (or cupcake tin) sprayed with non-stick spray.  Bake for 35-50 minutes, depending on dish or tin you are using to bake.  Let cool for 10 minutes.  You can eat warm, or also taste great chilled!

And all that before lunch.  I’ll admit, I polished off the three heart-shaped ones before lunch

Lunch was a roast beef salad.

• romaine lettuce
• broccoli
• egg whites
• roast beef
  
• cheddar cheese
• edamame
• ranch dressing

Mid-afternoon, I snacked on a 100-calorie pack of chips ahoy crisps.  My mom got these on the airplane on the way here, and since she doesn’t really eat sugar or wheat, she passed them on to me.

They are ok… they taste good, but just are kind of airy and empty.  They never help fill me up or make me satisfied, I feel like I am just crunching on empty sugar.  I prefer things that are more substantial.

I also had a rice pudding snack.  Apparently it was a good afternoon for empty, non-substantial snacks

But then I redeemed myself with a healthy before-dinner snack:  sweet potato fries!

This was from another leftover my mom bought while at my house and didn’t eat.  She got a couple of sweet potatoes at Whole Foods.  I don’t really like potatoes, but I do like sweet potatoes.  I’m not sure why exactly I never buy them, but will have to make more of an effort.  These were delicious!

For dinner, I had some clam chowder soup.  I threw in some bowtie pasta to give it a little more substance.

Also, S and I split this plate of artichoke and cheese pastries.  They were melt-in-your-mouth good.

And my dessert was incredible.  I bought this new flavor of ice cream.  It is seasonal, and is actually the store brand here at Nob Hill Foods – Sunnyside Farms.  It was…

SUGAR COOKIE ICE CREAM!!

This is definitely my favorite seasonal flavor.  Sorry pumpkin, peppermint and egg nog… sugar cookie definitely takes the cake.  It is vanilla ice cream with sprinkles and chunks of sugar cookie:

NOW I can go to bed happy.

Yesterday I received a gift from my Dad and his wife.  Technically, it was supposed to be a Christmas present.  But… since I already knew what it was, and I knew that I could really make use of it this week, I opened it.

It was a new blender!

My old one bit the dust, and I really wanted a nice new one.  This one can also act as a food chopper and processor.

So I decided to put my new blender to the test for breakfast, and I made a smoothie.

It had:

• 1 cup almond milk
• 1 cup frozen strawberries
• 1/2 cup yogurt
• flax seeds
• honey

I usually don’t like to drink my meals, but seeing my new blender at work was totally worth it.  Plus the smoothie was awesome.  My new blender crushed up the ice like nobody’s business!  Literally in seconds.  I was so proud.

Unfortunately, the smoothie didn’t fill me up until lunch.  I probably should have added some protein powder to make it more filling.  But I snacked on some ants on a log!

Haven’t had those for sooo long.  Makes me feel like a kid again

Lunch was my favorite – a Subway turkey sub!  I also had some broccoflower with hummus.

Mid-afternoon I got a total ice cream craving and gave in.  I polished off the last two (!!!!) huge pieces of my birthday cake.  And of course I didn’t feel that great about it afterwards.

Needless to say, my impulsive binge did not allow time for picture-taking before hand.  This after-the-fact evidence was the best I could do

Bad Rachel.  Oh well, at least it is gone now.  And I’m sad it is gone now!  I do that a lot… I have mixed feelings about unhealthy foods.  I am sad when they are gone, but at the same time relieved to not have them around anymore.  Does anybody else feel like that??

I went to the gym later on in the evening, which made me feel better.  30 minutes on the stepmill always lifts my mood!  I didn’t go until a bit later than usual (even though I was going by myself, not waiting for S), which also lifted my mood.  I wasn’t home yet by the time he got home.  I like to do that every once in a while because I feel like I am always sitting there, waiting for him when he gets home and he starts to take it for granted and/or think I have nothing better to do than have his dinner ready.  So I like to be out sometimes, just to show him that I can still do something on my own and won’t necessary be playing Holly Homemaker every time he walks in the door from work!

I tried to go for a healthy dinner to offset my birthday cake bonanza.  A salad with lots of goodies on top – ham, egg whites, cheese, edamame, cashews.

And since I can’t possibly go to bed without having something for my sweet tooth, I did cottage cheese cheesecake pudding with freeze-dried fruit and a crumbled sugar cookie on top.

The sugar cookie tasted funny in the cottage cheese cheesecake pudding… but I know there was nothing wrong with the cookie.  Somehow it just goes together with the cottage cheese poorly.  So I won’t be having this combo again…

G’night, ya’ll.

Did you ever look at a magazine or website and see a typo that just drove you crazy?  This morning, I was looking at the Oxygen website at a treadmill interval workout that I saw on Iowa Girl Eats’ blog.  I have been looking to mix up my workout routines a little bit, so am really looking forward to trying this interval workout sometime this week.  But while I was checking it out, I saw a stupid little typo on the page.

See it?  “They” instead of “the“?  I know, it’s tiny and stupid, but I still am always surprised when I see stuff like this.  I make a zillion typos (a friend alerted me to the fact that on yesterday’s post, I referred to the year 2011 almost being over, rather than 2009… don’t ask me how I fast-forwarded two entire years…) but come on, people.  This is their job.

I’m just sayin.