The past month or so, I have been pretty unhappy and throwing myself a big pity party.  I have been feeling sorry for my life, feeling very overwhelmed and complaining constantly, and just being overall a pretty miserable person to be around.

I’m not quite sure how or why I got into this little funk of mine, but I think it was a combination of a number of things:

1. Family stress – my sister and her boyfriend were here visiting for a week, and then S’s dad and grandma came pretty much right after that for two weeks.  Although we loved having all of them here, it is very overwhelming.  Particularly for me, as I am pretty much the one who takes care of all things at home (cooking, cleaning, etc.)
2. Puppy – new puppy.  Big puppy.  Messy puppy.  Loveable puppy.  Puppy jumps in mud, and then comes in on white carpets.  Puppy tries to eat poo.  Puppy chases cats.  Puppy chews shoes.  Puppy gets into garbage.  Puppy is sound asleep until I get on the phone for a meeting, and then is wide awake and must play with squeaky toy.  You get the picture.
3. Planning trips – A trip for me to Pittsburgh in a week (and figuring out what to do with the dog.)  A trip for S to Switzerland in June.  A trip for both of us to Pittsburgh in July.  A trip for both of us to Europe in August, and coordinating said trip with my Dad and his wife.  Oy, vey.
4. Work – I have a new opportunity that is kicking off, and I couldn’t be happier.  I am excited and busy and I love it.  But I’m tired.  Daily 6am meetings, and a lot of work on my plate… it’s an adjustment, for sure.

Those are the major things, and of course then there are the everyday stressors.  I have an incredible life – absolutely incredible.  But I’m a perfectionist.  So when I feel like something isn’t right or perfect (which is always the case, of course) I dwell on it.  I let it get huge and overwhelming and sit in my head – the few small bad things overshadowing all of the wonderful things in my life.

Let’s just say it all came to a head on Wednesday evening.    And I realized, with S’s help, that it wasn’t my life with the problem.  It was me and my attitude. 

So yesterday morning I woke up determined to look at things differently.  I have so many blessings in my life, and I am going to focus on those – NOT on the things I deem to be problems or imperfections.  This doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to improve the things that need to be improved, but I am not going to let them control my every though.

Easier said than done, right?   

But just accepting what is going on and what changes I need to make – this makes me feel better already.

Yesterday was great.  Breakfast was overnight oats.  I prepared them on Wednesday night before the breakdown.

• 1/2 cup oats
• 1/2 cup yogurt
• 1/2 cup almond milk
• 1/2 chopped banana
• topped with Kashi GoLean Crunch Honey Almond Flax

Tessa was better behaved today.  Actually… I’m not sure if she really was, or if it was my better attitude making it seem better.  Every time I got frustrated or she misbehaved, I focused on how cute of a puppy she is, how loving she is, and how happy she makes me.  Also… I took her on a morning walk.  One of my morning meetings was cancelled, so we went out right after breakfast.  Usually, I take her out a few times in the morning but we don’t actually go for a walk until the afternoon when I have a break from work.  I think that the morning walk really helped get some energy out and calm her down.  I don’t often have opportunities to do this in the morning, but you can bet that from now on I’m going to take advantage of them when I do!

Mid-morning snacky:

I don’t know why I don’t eat pistachios more often.  They are delicious!

Lunch was super yum.  A big salad with mixed seafood (shrimp, crab, mussels and squid), edamame, egg, cheese, and mixed veg.

And then I decided I needed to bake something.  I decided to go for Figgy Date protein bars – a recipe I improvised.  I did:

Figgy Date protein bars

Ingredients:

1 1/3 cups dry oats
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 scoops protein powder (I used cake batter flavor)
1/2 cup plain yogurt
1/3 cup eggbeaters
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
4 medjool dates, chopped
4 dried figs, chopped

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray baking pan with non-stick cooking spray.

2. In a large mixing bowl, combine ingredients until smooth.

3. Spread batter in prepared baking pan, and bake for approximately 20-25 minutes until bars are cooked all the way through.

4. Let bars cool completely in pan before cutting.

They are more cakey than bar-ey but they are delicious.  Really moist from the yogurt.

Ate two of those babies right out of the oven.

I also made an effort to spend some extra quality time with the cats yesterday.  I worry that they don’t get enough attention now that Tessa takes so much of our time and focus.  The good news is that they are really getting along and are close.

They like to sit on the freezer and spy down on Tessa – she can’t reach them up there, and they have the high ground!

And they lick each other clean all the time.  I caught Mendy giving JB a bath…

Too cute.

I won’t be going to the gym between now and when I leave for Pittsburgh in a little over a week because…. I don’t have a car.  Somebody broke into S’s car when it was parked at the train station, and they stole his GPS   They broke the window, too.  S has ordered a new one, but until it comes and he installs it I told him he could take my car.  So I’m stranded at home!

Dinner was Subway – a footlong turkey sub which I devoured without a picture.  Dessert, you ask?

Chocolate, I answer.  And some cookies.

Happiness is not having what you want, but rather wanting what you have.