I have officially started my new job.  Yesterday was my first day – we had a new hire training for most of the day where we learned the basics about the company, security, benefits, etc.  Then I met my manager and she led me to my new office and my new laptop and I started setting things up.  This part is pretty annoying – having to gain access to everything, setting up voicemail, etc.  Let’s just say that I have spent a lot of time on the phone with the help desk yesterday and today 

But so far I am loving it.  It feels soooo good to get up in the morning, have my coffee and be in a rush to get dressed, get ready and get out the door.  I know lots of you are thinking that is absolutely crazy, to actually want that… but after working at home and never having to go anywhere it is a welcome change.  Ha – check back in a few weeks to see if I am still saying that! 

One thing I know for sure, though, is that my time is going to be a LOT more limited now.  I got home around 6pm yesterday, and S wanted to go play tennis.  I was absolutely exhausted after my first day (plus my nerves had kept me from sleeping much the night before) so I reluctantly agreed to play for a half hour.  It is going to be much harder for me to a) fit in exercise now, since I have a much less flexible schedule and can’t just go to the gym in the afternoon, and b) have the energy to exercise.  I’ve never been a good evening exerciser – I either get it done in the morning or early afternoon when I have most of my energy.  I’m already getting up at 6:30 to get ready for work, so would have to get up super early to work out before work.  So I’m going to try after-work exercising for a while to see how it goes. 

One major perk of my new job is that it has a REALLY nice gym on site.  I’m going to check it out after work today.  It is actually closing tomorrow for a little over a week because they are renovating it.  So when we come back from our trip to Pittsburgh, it will be even nicer!  But overall, it will make working out more convenient because I can do it on site.  I don’t really like working out during lunch that much, because I always feel rushed and don’t like taking showers in the middle of the day at work (nor do I like going back to work all smelly and dirty!).  Plus I think the gym is really crowded during lunch.  But at least I can just go directly there when I’m done for the day, rather than having to drive to the gym.  I will probably stay a member at my other gym, because we also get a subsidy for external gym membership and I like that gym, but we’ll have to see.

Another cool perk of the job is that they have free drinks, fruit, and other goodies (which I will not name, which include chocolate and lots of unhealthy things that are going to be TORTURE for me to have around all the time.)  I’m trying to always head for the fruit when I’m feeling snacky.  Like now.

I couldn’t decide between a granny smith apple or a pink lady.  So I took one of each.

Happy munching!

I am so happy S is home.  Sunday was such a much-needed relaxing day.   We didn’t wake up until 1pm, since we didn’t even get home from the airport until almost 4am the night before.

When we woke up, I whipped up a quick smoothie:

This had frozen cherries, a cup of almond milk, a scoop of butter toffee protein powder, a pinch of guar gum and xantham gum, and a little ice.

One thing that I did a lot of while he was gone was shopping!  Although, it was really just looking, because I actually did not buy very many things.  I am in major need of some new clothes, but have a hard time spending the money.  I keep thinking about all the things I need to pay for and the big expenses I have had in the recent past, and the ones I have in the near future.

One gem that I did pick up was a jar of Justin’s Maple Nut Butter.  This was my first time trying this, although I have read rave reviews on many other blogs and in magazines.  I have seen it at Whole Foods but just wasn’t able to cough up the >$10 for a little jar!  Well… guess where I picked it up?  TJ-Maxx!  And can you see the clearance price tag on the top of it? 

Look closer….

On clearance for $3.00!!!  Woo hoo!  It was all I could do to keep myself from picking up five jars, but I know that would just be asking for trouble to keep that in my cabinet (particularly with S out of town!)

I had two heaping spoonfuls while S started heating up the grill for our late lunch.  I can tell already, this stuff is addictive and is going to disappear fast!

Speaking of treats, look at the treats S brought back for me from Switzerland:

Fondue cheese,

some of my favorite types of cookies,

and CHOCOLATE!

I miss Tessa like crazy, but one positive thing is that the cats are soooo much happier now.  They were tolerating the dog, but were always on edge and scared when they were downstairs.  Now they are back to being perfectly content and owning the place like they did before.  They had to get in on my Swiss treats picture-taking:

Lunch was… grilling! 

Sausages:

And burgers!

I had two sausages and a cheeseburger and was stuffed!  Happy Raychee.

After lunch we installed a new portable air conditioner we bought from Costco!  Our house does not have A/C, so it gets really warm in the summer – particularly the upstairs.  S and I decided on this Haier 12,000 BTU unit and we got it up and running in the master bedroom.  Yay for cool bedrooms!

And then, guess what?  When we finished with the A/C, S announced that he wanted to go to the gym.  I haven’t heard those words come out of his mouth for MONTHS.  I was completely shocked, especially since it was the day after he returned from a trip to Europe and two nightmare flights back!  I was pretty exhausted and didn’t really feel like going, but there was no way I could actually say no.

We decided to do weights together!  We did chest, lower back, upper back and shoulders.  And yes, I am hurting today!

After a shower and some goofing around, it was dinner time.  I pulled this pizza out of the freezer – I bought it on sale a while ago and thought it looked good.

It did not disappoint.  The crust was really crunchy and I loved it!  I was really hungry and ate half, but forgot to take a picture of it first.  So here is a picture of the other half which is going into the fridge for lunch tomorrow:

Dessert was two handfuls of smarties from my Swiss treats stash:

What you see x2.

I still had a sweet craving but didn’t want to eat more chocolate – so I went for nature’s candy.

Four medjool dates.

I’m so glad S is home and things are getting back to normal.  I miss Tessa a LOT, but I feel this huge sense of calm and relief that it is all over and I can just let my mind relax for a little while.

It’s kind of amazing.  Just when you think things are so bad.  When you are so sad, your heart is breaking, and you wonder how you could possibly feel happy again…  you go to bed and you get up the next morning.  It’s a new day, and the pain is just a little bit less than the day before.  And you do it again the next day.  Life goes on.

Did you ever watch the show “Life Goes On”?  That used to be one of my favorites when I was younger.

On Saturday, I took Tessa back to the adoption agency we got her from.  It was so tough.  I started crying the second I walked in the door.  I felt like the past three months of learning, loving, frustration, growing and decisions had all led me to this final point.  And then, five minutes later, it was over.  I filled out a quick form, signed on the dotted line, and walked out of the agency with a detached leash and an aching heart.

It happened first thing in the morning, and the rest of the day was a teary, exhausted blur.  I hadn’t slept at all the night before, and couldn’t fall asleep when I tried to nap during the day.  Going through it all by myself made it that much worse… I felt completely and utterly alone.  The thing that kept me going was the fact that S was coming home that evening from his week-long trip to Switzerland.  He was supposed to land in San Francisco at a little after 8pm.  However, his first flight (of two) was delayed over four hours due to technical problems with the plane.  This led him to miss his second flight and catch a later one, and he didn’t land in SF until after midnight.    And then, of course, his baggage was nowhere to be found.  Almost two hours later, we were on the hour-long drive home.  By this time, I was so physically and mentally exhausted that I couldn’t have even told you my name. 

We went to sleep (passed out is probably a more accurate way to put it…) at around 4am, and didn’t wake up until 1 the next day.  And the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and S was right next to me where he belonged.  Was the pain gone?  No.  But life goes on.

This has been a very hard week.  Everything is harder with S gone.  But besides that, we made a very tough decision.

We are unable to keep Tessa.

Even just typing those words breaks my heart.  When we got the dog, I worked at home full time and did not have plans to change that in the near future.  However, now that I am starting my new job and will be going into the office every day, I will be out of the house at least 9 hours every day.  I cannot, in good conscience, keep a big and energetic dog cooped up inside on the first floor of a small townhouse.  I feel it’s not right.

It is also what is best for S and I.  We have a lot on our plates right now, figuring out our future together.  We have traveling we want to do, we have to determine when and where to find a new house.  We believe there will be children in the not-too-distant future.  Right now we just really need the freedom to figure out what is best for us the next few years… in terms of our relationship, our family, our finances, etc. 

We have had her for a little over three months, and they have been three of the most challenging months of my life.  But they have also been three of the most rewarding.  When I adopted her, the agency said that if we ever could not keep her for any reason, we had to give her back to them.  I have called them and arranged to take her back tomorrow.  It will be a tough day.

I will have a dog one day, it is still one of my dreams.  Unfortunately, the timing just isn’t right right now.  I’m sorry, Tessa – I love you.

What would you do if you had the whole weekend to yourself?  If you had complete freedom?

Apparently, my answer is:  Not much.

With Stephen out of town (not just out of town, but out of the FREAKING COUNTRY), I don’t really know what to do with myself.  I wish he wasn’t gone, and I wish he wasn’t doing the things that he is doing, but I don’t have any control over that at this point.  What I do have control over?  Every single second of my day!  That will stop tomorrow when I go back to work, of course, but I guess for now I should run with it.

I had a fabulous morning.  I met two of my running friends, Wanda and Jana, for a run!  Since they both live over an hour away, I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like.  So it’s a real treat when I get together with them… even more so when I get to run with them!  The only good thing that is going to come out of S being out of town.  We met in Palo alto and did a good, 9 mile run starting from Palo Alto high school to the dish and back.  Palo Alto was quite hectic because today was Stanford’s graduation, but luckily we started early enough before it got really bad. 

It was a nice run, but the dish is very hilly and it was HOT!  Today it is almost 100 degrees outside.  I was a sweaty betty for sure!  But I loved every single second of it – catching up and chatting with my girls.  And even though it was a tough run, the time just flew by!

So far, the rest of my "freedom" has consisted of meeting with my friends and catching up, numerous walks with Tessa, watching an entire marathon of Keeping up with the Kardashians, shopping, laundry, selling an unnecessary second pair of bar stools we had sitting around, and devouring six Dairy Queen Blizzards.  All that while Stephen has been gone less than 48 hours.

Now I am going to finish the bottle of wine that I started about an hour ago.  Ahhh, the sweet taste of freedom?!?!  Nah, just the sweet taste of booze.

So my posts have been a bit few and far between lately.  Now’ I’m finally able to write about the main reason why.

Things have been crazy hectic for a lot of reason – including the engagement ring biz-nass, a lot of overtime work for both S and I, and S getting ready to leave for his trip to Switzerland (he left yesterday.)  But the most physically and mentally exhausting thing that I’ve been doing the past couple of weeks is job negotiation. 

Yes, I have decided to take a new job.  I officially accepted the offer and put in my resignation at my current job on Thursday.  The whole process has not been easy for me.  I am not good at negotiating when it comes to salary, benefits, etc.  However, I know how important it is when starting a new job – just a necessary evil. 

After that step was complete, then came the even harder part – resigning from my current job.  My manager was kind and understanding, but I know it came as a shock to her.  It also shocked my coworkers when they found out.  There are a lot of things that I like about my current job, and I LOVE my coworkers.  So explaining that I was leaving was tough.  Many of them have worked for the company for years.  I will miss working with them very much, but know I will stay in touch with many of them.  Thank goodness for Facebook! 

So I have just a couple of weeks left at my current job, and then will start the new one.  I’m really nervous, but really excited for this new chapter in my life.  I will be working in the office in my new job, not at home like I currently do.  Although I know there will be days I will wish I could stay home, I’m really excited to go into the office. 

Yeah.  It’s been a roller coaster, and I’ve been enjoying the ride.  I really feel like things are starting to line up the way I always dreamed they would… the pieces are amazingly falling into place.  It’s a surreal feeling.

So, I wrote about how S and I have been shopping for engagement rings lately.  The part that I left out was the fact that the jewelry store where we are getting the ring is right next to Whole Foods!  I typically don’t go to that side of town very often, so the fact that I have been going there frequently means… I have been making frequent Whole Foods trips.  I swear, it’s like I’m physically incapable of walking by that store without going in and buying something.  So let’s just say my overall grocery bill is quite a bit higher this month than it usually is. 

One new find that I picked up was Spinach Bolani.  Holy yum!

This stuff was pricy, but worth the splurge.  I ate the entire package in a day!  It was especially delicious with a little Laughing Cow cheese spread on top.

Right now I’m relaxing and watching the movie “Dan in Real Life”.  I feel like I haven’t had a second to relax and actually watch a movie.  It’s tough having to watch it by myself – nothing is as much fun without S here.  I feel like I’m missing half of myself. 

Today, a friend and ex-coworker of mine gave S and I a GRILL!  We have been talking about getting a grill for a long time, so when he offered his old one to us we jumped on it.  It is an old Weber charcoal grill – definitely used, but we are so happy to have it.  We are definitely not grill snobs

When we got home, S got right to work.  Since I am the household cook/chef, I am excited that S has decided grilling will be his responsibility.  For once, I get to sit my bum on the couch while S cooks!

So I sat my bum on the couch with my computer while S got to work.  I had a feeling it was going to be a while, so I snacked on a pint of blackberries.

Soon the grill was a’roarin.

Please mind the weeds on our patio.  The gardener My lazy butt hasn’t gotten out there and actually weeded yet this year.

Also, please excuse S’s wifebeater sunburn.  I’m asking on his behalf.

We made beef kabobs and sausages.

Grillmaster S!

After I finished my blackberries, I got bored on the couch and got up to make the salads.  When S was done, I dumped my chicken sausages on top of a salad:

Soooo good!  Grilling definitely adds a delicious flavor that you just don’t get with other forms of cooking.  Even my beloved george forman doesn’t compare, I’m afraid.

Tessa waited patiently for her portion of our grill-out.

Literally, you can not move a single step in our house without tripping over some animal toy.  Whether it’s a cat toy, a dog toy, a tire, a squeaker, a tennis ball, some catnip…

WE LIVE IN A ZOO.

Yes, I’m talking about you, Tessa dog.

These yummers have been making frequent dessert appearances:

Apex cookies.  They are still a dessert, or an occasional snack, because they have a good bit of sugar and some artificial stuff in them.  But for a cookie, they aren’t bad.  12 grams of protein and taste great!

I got several boxes in a big sale at 24-hour fitness, so there will be more of these to come.

And yes, Tessa eventually got her steak

Spoiled puppy!

Before you go to bed, check out Healthnuttxo’s Nana’s cookie giveaway!

This weekend, S and I were signed up to do the Mount Diablo 25k trail race.  We signed up about a month and a half ago, when I was in Pittsburgh.  I was hesitant to sign up at the time, because S wasn’t really running consistently (just a couple of 7 mile trail races in the past few months) and because this is a notoriously hard trail race.  It’s really hot every year, and has major elevation gains – 4,450 feet gain because you are running up Mt. Diablo! 

As the weekend approached, I got more and more nervous.  I ran the Pittsburgh half marathon about a month ago, so I wasn’t that concerned that I wouldn’t finish, but I knew it would be really tough and I would be walking a lot of it.  I was more concerned about S – he hasn’t been running at all.  In addition, he has been having some major foot pain the past two weeks.  So much so that he was unable to go for a walk with Tessa and I for a few days because it just hurt too much.  I had this feeling that if it hurt when he was just walking, it would NOT make for a pleasant half marathon.

S and I were going back and forth about whether or not we should do the race.  Finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back – I found out that I had a deployment for work and needed to be around the whole morning.  I had known about the deployment date for a couple of months, however I thought the deployment was going to be in the evening (as all my previous deployments have been) so wasn’t prepared to have to work during the morning.

So very late the night before, S and I decided not to do the race.

This is not the first time I have backed out of a race at the last second, and I always have a tough time with it.  It makes me feel like such a quitter – like I’m admitting defeat without even trying.  Also, I happen to be quite a big cheapskate so it’s hard for me to swallow that we paid the $100 for nothing.  I kept obsessing over it in my head, about how I was chickening out and how I have become such a softie that I was nervous to run 13.1 miles.  What happened to the 3:38 marathoner I used to be?

But you know what?  Saturday morning came and went.  And we didn’t do the race.  And I survived.  In fact, I was relieved.  I could concentrate on work, I could relax, I didn’t have to worry about S seriously injuring his foot.  And I could have this:

An omelet stuffed with goat cheese and spinach, and some yummy new trail mix that I got on sale at the grocery store last week.  It has soy nuts, almonds, cashews, dried fruit, butterscotch cups, and some yogurt covered raising.  YUM!

Before lunch, I took Tessa for a quick walk.  She gets tired much more easily in this heat. 

A quick Hugh Jass…

And then we went out for some shopping.  Specifically… some ring shopping!  Yes – S and I are shopping for engagement and wedding rings.  But that’s all about that for now…  let’s just say I am in HEAVEN and can’t believe all the wonderful things I have going on in my life right now!  I am so thankful. 

When we got home, I had some snacks, including a peach:

and a bag of soy chips that went unpictured. 

Then it was POOL TIME!

S could stay by the pool all day long – laying in the sun and hopping in the water every time he needs to cool off.  I’m usually good for an hour or two, but then I start to get fidgety and want to go DO something.  Today was no exception!  So I left S by the pool and I took Tessa to the dog park.

That girl is a wild child at the dog park.  She went from being petrified to being the aggressive, outgoing, dare-I-say…. bully? 

Yes, it’s hard for me to admit this but at times my baby girl can be a bully.  She doesn’t mean to hurt or be mean, but she likes to play rough and is often too aggressive for some of the more gentle or passive dogs at the park.  She even scares some dogs that are much bigger than her because of her energy. 

She is getting a little better, but sometimes we still have to separate her when she is playing too rough.  Oh well.

As a punishment, she had to play dress up when we got home!  She wore a Sponge Bob bandana, and rocked a side ponytail ear-tail. 

What, you never heard of the side ear-tail?  It was all the rage in the 80’s.

I tried to take a nap, but Tessa wouldn’t let me. 

I think her side ear-tail got her in the mood for an 80’s dance party.

So cute.

Love it.

Now I’m off to go to the store.  S has a hankering for steak, so steak for dinner it will be!

It has been a crazy week from last Wednesday to today.  There are a lot of things going on right now, most of which I will hopefully be writing about in the near future.  But for now, let me tell you about my holiday weekend going-ons.

Last weekend, we had a movie-rental weekend, as I rediscovered my love for Redbox.  Stephen had never had a redbox night before, so he thought it was awesome that we could rent a movie from a machine for a dollar! 

Friday night, we watched “Brothers”.  I loved it – Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman and Tobey Maguire are all on my list of favorite actors.  Kind of a downer, but I don’t mind a sad movie every once in a while.

It started S and I off on a hot debate about the US military, but that’s a whole other blog topic

Saturday night, we went with “Precious”.  Again, another downer (although this time I expected it to be) but a good movie.  Hard to watch, and hard to imagine the trials that some people have to go through in their lives. 

As far as eats go… I am doing well with operation Stop the Sugar.  I have to admit that I have been feeling VERY tired lately, but that is more because of all that is going on, combined with lack of sleep – definitely not because of my poor eating habits.  And I’m proud of that! 

I have also been making use of some in-season fruits and veggies, which always makes me happy.  One of my favorite meals I have made was BBQ pulled chicken sandwiches.   I made the BBQ chicken in the slow cooker. 

Love that thing – it’s so nice to dump everything in there, have it cooking away all day, and then enjoying a hot meal at the end of the day. 

Served on TJ’s honey wheat buns, with fresh corn on the side?  Yes, please!!

An amazing $15 off a $15 purchase from GNC coupon came in the mail for S, and he was nice enough to give it to me!  So I bought myself some new protein bars:

The stats of these are similar to my beloved Pure Protein bars (which I also got a new stash of!!!)  They have sugar alcohols, which I know some people don’t like, but they have never bothered me.

And the ingredients aren’t too bad, either.  A little more natural would have been nice, butthey are still good on occasion. 

So… why am I lucky?  Too many reasons to list.  Here are some of this week’s reasons.

A dozen beautiful roses, brought home for me from the love of my life after work this week.

My family, the joy that they bring me, and the fact that they love to eat the food I make for them!

I think my food all of a sudden became more appealing to S when Tessa started trying to steal it off his plate

The world’s softest bunny – literally.  This was a present, also from the love of my life this week (and it wasn’t even an anniversary or anything special!!! Aren’t I lucky?) and is seriously the softest thing I have ever felt.

Our new massage chair!  I told S it was a waste of money, but had to eat my words once I actually sat in it.  It’s fantastic.

Soon S will be traveling to Switzerland alone.  I’m not looking forward to being without my better half, but I feel a lot better now that I know I have Tessa to keep me company.